When your cat dies: grieving a quiet companion

Cats are often quiet presences, which can make their absence feel enormous. Ways to grieve, remember and honour a cat.

Cats don't always ask for much. They are just there: on the windowsill, at the end of the bed, walking across the keyboard at exactly the wrong moment. That quiet presence is exactly why their absence can feel so loud.

You're allowed to grieve this much

People sometimes underestimate the bond with a cat. If you are hurting more than others expect, it is because your cat was part of every single day. That is a big loss.

The little rituals

The first time you open a tin and there is no one to come running is hard. So is the empty sunny spot. Some people keep the bed or blanket out for a while. Others put it away quickly. Both are fine.

If you have other cats

Other cats may search the house or call out. Keep their routines steady, give them extra play and attention, and let them sniff something that belonged to the cat who died if they seem unsettled.

Ways to remember them

• Collect the best photos, including the funny, blurry ones.
• Write down their habits before you forget them: the chirp, the favourite box, the way they said good morning.
• Plant catnip or a small tree where they liked to sit.
• Give them a place on an online memorial wall so faraway friends can light a candle.